Lifeboat: Navigating Unexpected Career Change and Disruption by Maggie Craddock

Author:Maggie Craddock
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781608686858
Publisher: New World Library
Published: 2020-04-03T00:00:00+00:00

3: A Story Is Created That Justifies the Reaction

In a crisis, if we hit an inner iceberg and find ourselves reacting in ways we know aren’t heroic — that don’t help others, that don’t solve the problem, that don’t reflect who we want to be — then we have a choice: admit to feeling vulnerable, overwhelmed, and needing help, or create a story that justifies our reaction.

That’s what Robert Hichens did. He argued that they were all doomed and that nothing they could do would save them. He told the other lifeboat passengers that they didn’t understand the risks of being in a small boat in the middle of the ocean as well as he did. A storm could blow them to bits. The suction of the Titanic going under could take them all down. According to the story Hichens was creating, rowing was useless, so why even try?

People who have internalized the norms of the Big Ship mindset create stories as well. Rather than act in effective ways, they may blame others, dwell on the past, cast themselves as a victim — anything they can possibly think up to avoid the present moment will do. Why? In part because they don’t fully trust themselves. They feel vulnerable. If they’ve been conditioned to operate from a script, to play only one role, then they may feel incapable of playing other roles or being able to handle facing the unknown.

Of course, if you can’t face the facts, you can’t improve the situation. This is how many people get stuck.

Like Hichens, the more someone creates a story in order to justify themselves, the more isolated they become from others. Hichens lost the confidence of his fellow passengers, and command of the group, because neither his actions nor his story were helpful. Others in the lifeboat refused to accept his story, and soon enough they turned to another person to manage the group and help them survive.

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